submitted!!!

I've finally submitted my precious 200-page worth of thesis after going through blood, sweats and tears...for 1200 days! It's finally in! Another 10 more weeks until I know the verdict...pass or no pass! Scary~ I'm sorta having mixed feeling a the moment, now I know what others feel like...it's not happy nor relieved...just, you know, "yeah, that's it! There goes the entire time I spent pursuing a PhD." 

Anyway, I can officially start planning for my conference cum europe trip!!! Yay!

85 days more to go...

I cannot believe that my studies (Oh at last!) is coming to an end in another 3 months and then I'll be heading off to Europe for a conference plus graduation trip! Woohoo!!! I can't wait for that...and yet, i'm facing the hardest 3 months now...constant writing, constant brain blocks, constant food craving. Blarrghhh!!! I just want to finish writing that freaking thesis already!!!!!!! I wonder how people did it! T_T Looking at how slow my writing is progressing, I don't think I'll make it on time for this September graduation ceremony. So instead, I'll be graduating next April. Anyone wana come?! (:

Towards the end...soon...

Let the writing frenzy begins...after all the CNY celebration!!!!

Thought I should let people know that I'm still alive and surviving!

You would not believe the amount of things that I have to get done in the next 3 months or so...
1. Apply for a new CoE
2. Apply for a new student visa
3. Go for med checkup (visa requirement)
4. Apply for health insurance
5. Apply for 3 travel grants
6. Apply for an international conference (last chance before I graduate!)
7. Apply for a job
8. Prepare for seminar, lab meeting and abstract
9. Teach twice a week

And not to forget, write my thesis! -.-"

Please let me survive through all these ordeals and graduate smoothly! *fingers and toes crossed*

upset

Who has a superior who told you he wants to kill you with a gun when you did a mistake? I DO!!!...and to think that's the first mistake that I've done in months and not to forget, I've never done that mistake before...I was VERY upset. I literally burst into tears in an isolated room after I managed to finish up all my experiment...as if I don't feel bad enough that I made that mistake. Do you really need to say that? And I even apologised...Who say that you don't face situation like this in first world country?

The story begins like this...

I was troubleshootnig a past experiment that I've been working on for the last two days as it didn't work and was advised during the lab meeting to test it with just one (and not 30) samples. And we need to load the sample onto a gel for protein analysis. Like what layman says, it's like putting agar-agar into the mould. Before I proceeded, I asked if I should make my own gel as the ready-made one ($26 each) can be used for 18 samples in one go and I thought that's quite wasteful. Whereas if I make my own gel, it doesn't cost much. But the superior got me to use the ready-made one as that will save me some time (for waiting the gel to set before I can do my test). Thinking that was a bit strange, I didn't question and started my experiment with the $26 gel. Only when I was about the load my samples onto the gel, the superior started screaming at me...

"What did you do!!! Why are you using the big gel?"

"What?!! I thought you asked me to use the ready-made one?" 

"YEAH, BUT YOU'RE ONLY RUNNING ONE SAMPLE!!! OH MY GOODNESS, USE THE SMALL GEL!!!"

I was literally freaking out...thinking what kind of mistake and trouble I've gotten into...

"What?! Small ready-made gel? I didn't know we have that...and I've never used it before. For the past, I've only either use the big ready-made one for lots of samples and make my own gel when I have less samples."

And the superior went to another fridge and grab two boxes of small gels out...

"YANN, YOU'RE A THIRD YEAR PhD STUDENT. YOU SHOULD BE USING THIS, NOT THAT!!! DID YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THE BIG GEL IS??!!!! YOU JUST WASTED $26 WORTH OF GEL!!!!!" 

"I'm sooo sorry...I didn't know we have the small ready-made gel...which is why I was asking whether I should make my own gel just now."

By then...I was already upset enough...and tears were welling up in my eyes. It's not like I purposely wanted to be wasteful but I DID ask beforehand. Blame it to miscommunication...he was probably thinking of the small gel and I, on the other hand, was thinking of the big gel. And because he has raised his tone so much, everyone in the lab was looking, including the summer student. 

So the superior and I started to wrap up the big gel (so that we could save it for the next experiment). 

 

Then the other PhD student jumped in and asked "what did she do? She used the big gel for her test?" Then directed the conversation to me "I'm not going to use the gel that you've opened. You better make sure you use it for your next experiment!" 

Did he really need to add extra salt into it???!!!!!!! I was literally at the verge of bursting out tears, run out of the lab and not come back anymore... until the superior said...

"OH MY...YANN, YANN, YANNNN....IF I HAVE A GUN NOW, I'LL KILL YOU ON THE SPOT!"

I can't say anything more, can I? I did do a mistake and I'm paying for it...but killing me just because of a $26 worth of gel?!! I think that was inappropriate to even say out...

I did my experiment alone and still couldn't believe what the superior has said. So after I finished my experiment, I went home without telling anyone. I was soooooo upset. :( :(

Feeling crappy

It feels crap when I'm supposed to enjoy my weekend and back in my mind, there are heaps to be done. Can't believe I'm already in my final year of PhD. *gulp* It's such a scary feeling thinking that I'm now officially a senior HDR student and yet, I feel so incompetent and under-achieved. :| Would I even be able to finish and graduate on time? Would I be able to secure a good job next year? Would I be able to finish all my writings? Looking at the horrendous piles of journal sitting on my study table...Urghh! I'm speechless. 

This is probably one of the bottleneck-of-my-life's post since my last entry. Realised that my English standard has deteriorate so much though I speak and use it everyday >.< I start to wonder why do I even want to do a PhD for a start......

contented

Mid-PhD talk ticked! (:

Got positive feedbacks from my students. One even drew a smiley for me! lol.

Overall, a pretty good start for the week! (:

Say NO! to reduction in research funding

There's a rally today in front of the Parliament House due to a huge reduction in grant funding for medical research. Not good. Are the government trying to rid of all scientists' future???!!

Human vs cells

Am starting to love human study - it's so much more lively and interactive as compared to cellular study. Bland is the only term I could think of. No talking to other human beings, nothing. Just staring into the microscope.

Stress free

I passed my review on Monday, which means that my PhD candidature is confirmed. Well that aside, there is still no guarantee that I'll graduate timely. =/

I realised that I wasn't as nervous when I'm giving a presentation at the hospital today. In fact, I'm usually so nervous when presenting at uni that my brain freezes and I start to behave like a 3-year-old. Don't ask me why, it just happened!

So I'm sorta stress free for the rest of the month apart from doing some unknown-but-seem-to-fail experiments. One of my scholarship has officially ended, and I'm starting to feel the financial constraint. I'm still trying very hard to get some casual job to meet ends meet.

Pretty excited about my Gold Coast/ Brisbane trip during this coming Easter break!!!!!! (:

Back!

I've decided to delete my old blog and start afresh. (:

Blog posts would be pretty short and concise from now on, well, unless I have plenty of time on hand, otherwise I might not update that frequently.

xx