upset

Who has a superior who told you he wants to kill you with a gun when you did a mistake? I DO!!!...and to think that's the first mistake that I've done in months and not to forget, I've never done that mistake before...I was VERY upset. I literally burst into tears in an isolated room after I managed to finish up all my experiment...as if I don't feel bad enough that I made that mistake. Do you really need to say that? And I even apologised...Who say that you don't face situation like this in first world country?

The story begins like this...

I was troubleshootnig a past experiment that I've been working on for the last two days as it didn't work and was advised during the lab meeting to test it with just one (and not 30) samples. And we need to load the sample onto a gel for protein analysis. Like what layman says, it's like putting agar-agar into the mould. Before I proceeded, I asked if I should make my own gel as the ready-made one ($26 each) can be used for 18 samples in one go and I thought that's quite wasteful. Whereas if I make my own gel, it doesn't cost much. But the superior got me to use the ready-made one as that will save me some time (for waiting the gel to set before I can do my test). Thinking that was a bit strange, I didn't question and started my experiment with the $26 gel. Only when I was about the load my samples onto the gel, the superior started screaming at me...

"What did you do!!! Why are you using the big gel?"

"What?!! I thought you asked me to use the ready-made one?" 

"YEAH, BUT YOU'RE ONLY RUNNING ONE SAMPLE!!! OH MY GOODNESS, USE THE SMALL GEL!!!"

I was literally freaking out...thinking what kind of mistake and trouble I've gotten into...

"What?! Small ready-made gel? I didn't know we have that...and I've never used it before. For the past, I've only either use the big ready-made one for lots of samples and make my own gel when I have less samples."

And the superior went to another fridge and grab two boxes of small gels out...

"YANN, YOU'RE A THIRD YEAR PhD STUDENT. YOU SHOULD BE USING THIS, NOT THAT!!! DID YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THE BIG GEL IS??!!!! YOU JUST WASTED $26 WORTH OF GEL!!!!!" 

"I'm sooo sorry...I didn't know we have the small ready-made gel...which is why I was asking whether I should make my own gel just now."

By then...I was already upset enough...and tears were welling up in my eyes. It's not like I purposely wanted to be wasteful but I DID ask beforehand. Blame it to miscommunication...he was probably thinking of the small gel and I, on the other hand, was thinking of the big gel. And because he has raised his tone so much, everyone in the lab was looking, including the summer student. 

So the superior and I started to wrap up the big gel (so that we could save it for the next experiment). 

 

Then the other PhD student jumped in and asked "what did she do? She used the big gel for her test?" Then directed the conversation to me "I'm not going to use the gel that you've opened. You better make sure you use it for your next experiment!" 

Did he really need to add extra salt into it???!!!!!!! I was literally at the verge of bursting out tears, run out of the lab and not come back anymore... until the superior said...

"OH MY...YANN, YANN, YANNNN....IF I HAVE A GUN NOW, I'LL KILL YOU ON THE SPOT!"

I can't say anything more, can I? I did do a mistake and I'm paying for it...but killing me just because of a $26 worth of gel?!! I think that was inappropriate to even say out...

I did my experiment alone and still couldn't believe what the superior has said. So after I finished my experiment, I went home without telling anyone. I was soooooo upset. :( :(